marți, 28 octombrie 2008

miercuri, 22 octombrie 2008

Some good ol' antiblogging

The Skull

On the table, in my room, there is a skull. Everybody keeps telling me it is ugly, and that I should get rid of it, and that it is not proper for a nine year old to have a skull on his desk. They are telling it to me almost as often as they are telling me that I am a good-for-nothing, who does nothing right.

They think I stumbled upon the skull, but I knew exactly where it was when I dug it out, for it is the skull of my father. Nobody knows of this, not even my mother...poor thing, still thinks father left us. But that is not the way it was, no!

No, I was not there when my father died, nor when he was buried. How then did I know where to find his skull? One day a drunk man I've never seen before came up to me on the street and told me: "I knows who ya are. Ya don't knows me, bo' I knows ya. I knows ya well, ya lil' bastard, 'cause I killed ya pop. Aye! An' ya look just like'em! Killed'em and burried'im in the garden of the o' mill, unda' the oak tree."

So I went straight to the old mill, and dug out my poor father's remains, and took his skull. Took it home and put it on my desk.
From now on I won't be a good-for-nothing any more, from now on I'll do things right, because from now on I'll be under the vigilent eyes of my father.

luni, 20 octombrie 2008

The gravediggers

The first snowflakes of the winter started falling, while the old man was shoveling and the two strangers kept talking in their weird language. It didn’t sound like any language the man had heard before. But what bothered him was the calmness of their voices, as if they were not just desecrating a grave.

Snow came late this year, the third day of December had already past; but it was a sunny autumn, and even now it was pretty warm for the time of the year, yet the ground was still nearly frozen, and the old man dug with no ease.

‘Do you know that this is called grave desecration, and that it is a sin?’
‘If anyone will go to hell, that’s going to be you, because you are the one digging…and if you want the money, you better not stop digging.’

He didn’t like it, but he needed the money, and even though the work was hard, he has been a working man all his life, and this job would earn him more than six month’s worth of pension. He needed the money, since it was the first winter in a long time, which he would spend alone, his wife having died just months ago. There still were his children, but one was in the U.S and the other in France. Not having heard from them in a while, he had to take care of himself.

He didn’t like it one bit. From the beginning. How they came to him; just knocking on his door, and then as he opened just telling him that he had some work to do in the graveyard. Not asking him, informing him, the way you ask for a coffee at the café. But he did not argue, just took his shovel and followed them.

Three hours it took him to get to the coffin, with no help from the other two.

‘And now?’
‘Open it!’

Now this he really didn’t like. He didn’t even whose grave it was, not being able to decipher the worn out name in the dark, even though his vision was rather good for someone his age. He wanted to just say “No”, but the struggle to get this far had made him curios, so he opened the coffin with his shovel.
It was empty.
Or so it seemed. There was in fact a small piece of paper. The old man picked it up and read it:
“Petrescu Gheorghe Ioan
b. 5th Oct 1939-d. 4th Dec 2004”
‘But this is my name and my birthday…and today’s date…’ turning towards the men ‘What the…?’
One of them was holding a gun pointed at the old man. He pulled the trigger and the corpse fell right into the coffin. The other man took out a pen and a notebook, and drew a horizontal line on the paper.
‘Last one this week, let’s finish it!’
The other took the shovel from the old man’s hand, closed the coffin again, and in a few minutes covered the grave.
" Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion. "

~Dylan Thomas

vineri, 17 octombrie 2008

"Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word
itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and
"ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and so is mankind."

~Jack Handey

duminică, 12 octombrie 2008

Sunny side of Global Warming

E mijlocul lui octombrie, sunt în Cambridge, în ploioasa Anglie, și stau în curte, fără tricou, făcând plajă, gândindu-mă că e abia August.
"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo,
flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a
beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful
painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."

~Jack Handey