...so I prayed to God last night and after about 3 minutes of holding on the line he answered.
Only it wasn't him. It was this really cheery Indian guy.
"Hello, how can I help?"
"Could I talk to God please?"
"God is busy, can I take your prayer?"
"Are you even in Heaven?"
"Oh yes, sir. I can see the Pearly Gates from where I'm sitting?"
"And you're a Christian?"
"No, sir. But there is no racial or religious discrimination in Heaven."
God outsources and Heaven is P.C. and I'm thinking of hanging up.
"Is there anything I can do for you, sir?"
"I'm not sure..."
"What is the problem?"
"It's about this Life you gave me."
"Is it not as you ordered, sir?"
"Well, to be honest I didn't order it. I was given it without being asked. And I know how rude it must seem that I'm complaining about something I got for free, and it isn't really a complaint it's more of a service enquiry, but I think there is something wrong with it."
"What seems to be the problem, sir?"
"Well, I don't know if it is a production defect or simply a fault in the design, and I do realize it might be entirely my fault, maybe I haven't used or maintained it properly, but I just feel it isn't really what it should be, or at least not what I expected from all the advertisement. I don't think it's working properly, especially compared to the ones other people have. You know?"
"No problem sir and I fully understand your concern. Let's try and work this out together. Have you tried turning it off and on again?"